MENTAL ABUSE

Sometimes emotional and mental abuse can be worse than physical abuse because it is subtle. This involves psychological strategies for the control of another person.

Belittling and putting the other person down is a powerful way that an abuser gains control. This all becomes very dangerous, especially when she starts to believe him. You doubt yourself and think maybe that dress was too sexy looking to wear out, He is always right, he knows what's best for the both of them; She is always wrong, she is not competent; The victim then feels bad about herself, her self-esteem is low; You may even be feeling guilty because he has made her believe that somehow it's her fault, that maybe she is going crazy, just like he says. He may use name calling to 'humiliate her in front of others.

When gaining control of the victim, the abuser uses different strategies to isolate his victim such as the following; He needs to know who you socialize with, what you say or do, or where you go and what you wear. He may say the reason that he needs to know where she is and who she is with at all times is because he gets jealous, and then this makes her feel guilty. Even the neglect or silent treatment may be effective to him to gain control.

The Abuser is a master at manipulating the situation by minimizing his actions trying to make the victim think that she was blowing it all out of proportion, or denying that he did anything at all, that there was NO abuse; "I didn't really hit you, I just tapped you a little, what a baby!' "I wasn't trying to hit you, I was trying to grab you to keep you from leaving", 'I didn't push you down the stairs, I was just trying to grab you and keep you from falling". The abuser also places the blame on the victim saying that she cause it; He may try blaming it on someone else, or a situation.

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