Abuse

Addictions

Recognizing  and Preventing

Domestic Violence

Facts for Recognizing Domestic Violence:

• Domestic violence is the most common and unrecognized killer of women in the U.S. It kills more women than auto accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
• Acts of domestic violence occur every 18 seconds in the U.S.
• 95% of all domestic violence victims are women and children.
• Over 95% of spousal assaults are committed by men.
• 6 million American women are beaten each year by their husbands or boyfriends.
• Women are much more likely to be assaulted by a male partner than by a stranger on the street. Domestic violence occurs equally across all sectors of society. It knows no social, economic, racial or religious boundaries.
• Acts of violence not only inflict physical injuries, but also have the potential to destroy a person’s foundations of trust and safety.

Domestic Violence thrives because of the lackof public awareness and community response to the problem of domestic violence, as well a lack of acknowledgment and desire for change. Most of our social structures and institutions are based on a patriarchal system that dictates that men, by virtue of their gender, are entitled to control women and children.

FALSE perceptions of the causes domestic violence

• The foundation of domestic violence is that abusers want to control everything. They batter because they believe it works and because they can. Less than 1 man in 100 is convicted of wife assault in court. One primary aspect of domestic violence that must be understood in order to fully recognize the problem is that domestic violence is the result of a choice.

It is NOT caused by:

• alcohol or drugs
• problems from his childhood
• old war experiences
• stress from work or other areas of his life
• a physical illness
• his insecurity
• racism or poverty
• his inability to express his feelings
• financial problems
• how the victims looks or acts.

Answers to the commonly asked question "Why doesn’t she leave?"

There are many complex reasons why a woman is unable to leave her partner which could include any or all of the following:

• Hope for change: Many abusive partners apologize after the abusive incident, or promise to change or seek counseling which encourages the battered woman to hope and believe a change will occur.
• Isolation: Abusive partners isolate battered women from all outside support systems such as family, friends and co-workers believing that they "own" the battered women and are entitled to complete control over her.
• Societal denial: Battered women fear no one will believe their partners are abusing them in any way due to community agents trivializing the abuse; doctors not addressing the results of visible abuse, ministers recommending prayers and therapists advising better communication with the batterer.
• Barricades to leaving: Abusive partners will put up many barricades preventing the woman from leaving such as threatens to seek custody of the children, to hurt/kill her or other family members, to commit suicide, or to expose her as a liar. The abuser may also have broken down the woman’s self esteem, making her believe she (and her children) will be UNABLE to survive without him. In addition, the abuser has fostered an environment of total fear, that has terrorized the battered woman.
• Dangers in leaving: Many battered women are killed after they have left or separated because the abuser cannot cope with her being out of his control. He will escalate the violence to force the battered woman into staying or to retaliate for leaving. Many battered women are aware of these factors and thus feel they cannot leave.
• Economic autonomy: Many battered women do not have any economic resources independent from their abuser; he has taken total control over all the money. This leaves some battered women feeling they have no way to support themselves or their children if they leave.
• Frequency and severity: The less frequent and severe the violent incidents are, the more likely the woman will stay.
• Her childhood experiences: Women who grew up in a violent or abusive home may perceive the abuse as a "normal" part of family life, and are less likely to leave their present situation.
• Her beliefs about marriage: Some women may feel they are unable to leave or get divorced due to their personal beliefs about marriage. These may be attributed to religious, ethnic or social reasons.

Most battered women leave and return several times before leaving permanently, but the overall fear battered women feel cannot be ignored. The more support and assistance battered women receive from family, friends, police, shelters, clergy, courts, medical personnel, educators, therapists and other community agencies, the more likely battered women can leave safely. (There also needs to be a shift away from asking "Why do women stay?" to "Why do men batter?".) --need to explain premise behind this…..

The Power and Control Theory describes the dynamics of an abusive and/or violent relationship. The underlying premise is that people use violence to maintain power and control over others and this premise is reinforced each time the person gets what they want through the use of violence. Domestic violence is a choice the abuser makes to systematically and deliberately gain power and control over their partner. The power and control wheel illustrated……..

With power and control at the center of the wheel, the spokes are made up of different abusive techniques that are all surrounded by physical and sexual violence.

Prevention of Domestic Violence:

The first step in the prevention of domestic violence is to break the silence. Victims and children deserve to be given a voice that is heard, recognized and respected by their family, friends and community. Victims of domestic violence and sexual assault are entitled to and should be provided with support services that keep them safe and provide them with options. 

Here are some action steps citizens can take to end domestic violence (taken from the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence)

On a personal level:

• Cultivate a respectful attitude toward women in the family and at work.
• Model a non-violent, respectful response to resolving conflicts in the family.
• If you know of someone who is afraid of their partner, offer support and refer them to local agencies.
• Learn about domestic violence services in the community and contribute to them.
• Call the police if you see or hear violence in progress.
• Talk to friends/neighbors when they belittle women, make a joke about violence or ignore a battered woman.

On a community level:

• Ask the local government to collaborate with domestic violence programs to conduct a safety audit of the community. Develop a plan to carry out a vision of a safe community for women and children.
• Develop a women’s safety campaign for the workplace, neighborhood, school or house of worship.
• Bring together local agents to develop a school-based curriculum on dating and family violence.
• Ask the clergy and congregation to learn about domestic violence and offer support to victims. Ask health care professionals to be trained about domestic violence, child abuse and elder abuse.
• Insure that law enforcement officers, judges and probation and parole personnel receive training about domestic violence and enforce the law.
• Urge your local, state and federal elected officials to support domestic violence legislation and increase funding for services and prevention.
• Write to music and movie companies, video game producers and television stations to speak out about violence against women.
• Encourage projects with religious and civic organizations to raise consciousness about domestic violence.

Safety planning in advance can save the lives of domestic violence victims and children. The following are possible options to include in a safety plan.
 

• Pack a suitcase to store with a friend/neighbor in the event the victim needs to leave immediately. Include clothing, toiletries and a set of keys to the house and/or car.
• Keep special items in a safe place so they may be taken on short notice: medicine, ID’s, extra cash, checkbook, credit cards, social security cards and other legal documentation.
• Know a safe place to go or how to get a family member or other trusted person to help the victim confidentially.
• Call 1-800-990-3877 or the local support agency for help, (in Albany Co., SAFE Project: 745-3556 or 1800-230-3556)
• Get medical attention if needed or call the police.

Haven Of Hope: Domestic Violence Safety Plan

Once the community recognizes the severity and extent of this problem, prevention philosophies and programs need to be implemented. Youths are a prime target where prevention efforts can be most effective. The following are 5 ways to put the philosophy of prevention in practice.

• Encourage youth input and responsibility.
• Provide positive role models.
• Have peer group discussions.
• Focus on strengths, not just weaknesses.
• Provide youth with resources to the help and support as they need it.

Family Violence Protection Orders (taken from the Family Law Newsletter)
Victims of domestic violence in Wyoming can seek legal protection under the state’s Domestic Violence Protection Act.

• "Domestic abuse" is defined under the statute as physical abuse, threats of physical abuse or acts which unreasonably restrain the personal liberty of any household member by any other household member, and includes sexual abuse and the holding, confining, detaining or abducting of the victim.

  "Household members" are spouses and former spouses, persons who are living or have lived together as spouses (cohabitation), other adults who are living together, parents and their adult children, and persons not living together but who have children in common.

A protection order can:

• Order the abuser to stop the abuse.
• Order the abuser to not contact the victim and her/his children by any means, including personal contact, by telephone or letters, or through the use of third parties.
• Give the victim sole possession of the family home during the period of the protection order or require the abuser to provide temporary housing for the victim.
• Award custody of children to the victim, order the abuser to pay child support and provide health insurance for the victim and the children, and prohibit the abuser from abducting, removing, or concealing any child in the victim’s custody.
• Order the abuser to pay temporary support to the victim and to pay the victim for any financial losses s/he has suffered as a result of the abuse, including medical costs, costs of repairing damaged property, attorney’s fees and court costs.
• Order the abuser to relinquish certain items of personal property to the victim and restrain the abuser from taking, selling, or destroying the victim’s property or parties’ joint property.
• Order the abuser to undergo treatment, including batterer’s intervention counseling and substance abuse counseling.
• Prohibit the abuser from possessing weapons.

• Anything else the court decides in necessary to protect the victim

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