|
Domestic
Violence Safety Tips
For You and Your Family |
| IF
YOU ARE IN DANGER, CALL 911
or your local police emergency number
whether or not you feel able to leave an abuser, there are things you
can do to make yourself and your family safer. |
|
IN AN EMERGENCY
If
you are at home & you are being threatened or attacked:
-
Stay
away from the kitchen (the abuser can find weapons, like knives, there)
-
Stay
away from bathrooms, closets or small spaces where the abuser can
trap you
-
Get
to a room with a door or window to escape
-
Get
to a room with a phone to call for help; lock the abuser outside if
you can
-
Call
911 (or your local emergency number) right away for help; get the
dispatcher's name
-
Think
about a neighbor or friend you can run to for help
-
If
a police officer comes, tell him/her what happened; get his/her name
& badge number
-
Get
medical help if you are hurt
-
Take
pictures of bruises or injuries
-
Call
a domestic violence program or shelter (some are listed here); ask
them to help you make a safety plan |
|
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF AT HOME
-
Learn
where to get help; memorize emergency phone numbers
-
Keep
a phone in a room you can lock from the inside; if you can, get a
cellular phone that you keep with you at all times
-
If
the abuser has moved out, change the locks on your door; get locks
on the windows
-
Plan
an escape route out of your home; teach it to your children
-
Think
about where you would go if you need to escape
-
Ask
your neighbors to call the police if they see the abuser at your house;
make a signal for them to call the police, for example, if the phone
rings twice, a shade is pulled down or a light is on
-
Pack
a bag with important things you'd need if you had to leave quickly;
put it in a safe place, or give it to a friend or relative you trust
-
Include
cash, car keys & important information such as: court papers,
passport or birth certificates, medical records & medicines, immigration
papers
-
Get
an unlisted phone number
-
Block
caller ID
-
Use
an answering machine; screen the calls
-
Take
a good self-defense course |
|
HOW TO MAKE YOUR CHILDREN SAFER
-
Teach
them not to get in the middle of a fight, even if they want to help
-
Teach
them how to get to safety, to call 911, to give your address &
phone number to the police
-
Teach
them who to call for help
-
Tell
them to stay out of the kitchen
-
Give
the principal at school or the daycare center a copy of your court
order; tell them not to release your children to anyone without talking
to you first; use a password so they can be sure it is you on the
phone; give them a photo of the abuser
-
Make
sure the children know who to tell at school if they see the abuser
-
Make
sure that the school knows not to give your address or phone number
to ANYONE |
|
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF OUTSIDE THE HOME
-
Change
your regular travel habits
-
Try
to get rides with different people
-
Shop
and bank in a different place
-
Cancel
any bank accounts or credit cards you shared; open new accounts at
a different bank
-
Keep
your court order and emergency numbers with you at all times
-
Keep
a cell phone & program it to 911 (or other emergency number)
|
|
HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF SAFER AT WORK
-
Keep
a copy of your court order at work
-
Give
a picture of the abuser to security and friends at work
-
Tell
your supervisors - see if they can make it harder for the abuser to
find you
-
Don't
go to lunch alone
-
Ask
a security guard to walk you to your car or to the bus
-
If
the abuser calls you at work, save voice mail and save e-mail
-
Your
employer may be able to help you find community resources
|
|
USING THE LAW TO HELP YOU
Protection
or Restraining Orders
In
most places, the judge can:
-
Order
the abuser to stay away from you or your children
-
Order
the abuser to leave your home
-
Give
you temporary custody of your children & order the abuser to pay
you temporary child support
-
Order
the police to come to your home while the abuser picks up personal
belongings
-
Give
you possession of the car, furniture and other belongings
-
Order
the abuser to go to a batterers intervention program
-
Order
the abuser not to call you at work
-
Order
the abuser to give guns to the police
If
you are worried about any of the following, make sure you:
-
Show
the judge any pictures of your injuries
-
Tell
the judge that you do not feel safe if the abuser comes to your home
to pick up the children to visit with them
-
Ask
the judge to order the abuser to pick up and return the children at
the police station or some other safe place
-
Ask
that any visits the abuser is permitted are at very specific times
so the police will know by reading the court order if the abuser is
there at the wrong time
-
Tell
the judge if the abuser has harmed or threatened the children; ask
that visits be supervised; think about who could do that for you
-
Get
a certified copy of the court order
-
Keep
the court order with you at all times |
|
CRIMINAL PROCEEDINGS
-
Show
the prosecutor your court orders
-
Show
the prosecutor medical records about your injuries or pictures if
you have them
-
Tell
the prosecutor the name of anyone who is helping you (a victim advocate
or a lawyer)
-
Tell
the prosecutor about any witnesses to injuries or abuse
-
Ask
the prosecutor to notify you ahead of time if the abuser is getting
out of jail
|
|
BE SAFE AT THE COURTHOUSE
-
Sit
as far away from the abuser as you can; you don't have to look at
or talk to the abuser; you don't have to talk to the abuser's family
or friends if they are there
-
Bring
a friend or relative with you to wait until your case is heard
-
Tell
a bailiff or sheriff that you are afraid of the abuser and ask him/her
to look out for you
-
Make
sure you have your court order before you leave
-
Ask
the judge or the sheriff to keep the abuser there for a while when
court is over; leave quickly
-
If
you think the abuser is following you when you leave, call the police
immediately
-
If
you have to travel to another State for work or to get away from the
abuser, take your protection order with you; it is valid everywhere |
| This
material may be freely reproduced, provided that such use is for informational,
non-commercial purposes only, and any copy of the text or portion thereof
includes the following legend: "Reprinted by permission of the American
Bar Association from The Domestic Violence Safety Plan: Safety Tips
For You And Your Family, a joint project of the ABA Tort and Insurance
Practice Section and the ABA Commission on Domestic Violence." Requests
to reproduce this material for all other uses should be addressed to:
Director, Copyrights & Contracts, American Bar Association, 750 N.
Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, IL 60611, Fax: 312-988-6030.
|
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