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PROLOGUE
Good Morning,
In our last adventure, Stevie
Weevie was chased by a really big fish. A fish that seems to
grow bigger and grow more teeth each time Stevie Weevie mentioned him.
Well, now we have something even scarier for you. A true story of when
our famous little Stevie Weevie went to eat at Ted 'N Mary's diner in
the Florida Keys. Everyone who has ever eaten there knows one thing. When
it's time to eat, be afraid, be very afraid.
TED AND MARY'S
This will
bring up pleasant memories of good times to any of those who
have ever eaten at the legendary Ted and Mary's Restaurant.
It was just a little diner sitting off the main roadway in the
Florida Key's. Nothing special on the outside, except for the
giant letters painted on the roof saying, "TED AND MARY'S".
Outside, a simple glass store front; inside, a single long counter
with red bar stools and a row of red bench seats. A simple,
basic restaurant, nothing fancy, and yet it was the most memorable
restaurant in the world, the most talked about in town, and
one little boy's favorite place to eat in the whole world (Sorry
Ronald, no free promo's here).
So what made Ted and Mary's so special? It was the people! (What
people, Stevie?) And those people were, of course, Ted and Mary.
Ted was a kindly older man who loved practical jokes, and Mary
was his wife, who was even funnier than Ted. The two of them
just loved to make people laugh. And they had a rule: if they
could not make you laugh, you got to eat for free. But nobody
ever ate for free at Ted and Mary's, and nobody ever complained
when it was time to pay for the meal either.
The first difference you saw between Ted and Mary's and other
diners was on a little sign on the door as you entered. Most
restaurants are open long hours six or seven days a week, and
are just trying to survive. Ted and Mary's was different. The
sign on the door announced not only the hours they were open,
it also announced the hours they were closed.
It said: "Open Tuesday through Saturday, 6 am to 4 PM.
We close promptly at 4 PM, so you better hurry 'cause we slam
the doors closed promptly at 4 PM so we can go fishing."
Below this it says: "We are closed on Sundays, so we can
go fishing." And below this, it says: "We don't believe
in Mondays, so on Sunday we are going fishing for two days.
If you wanna eat you are just gonna have to wait until we get
back or go somewhere else. And if you can eat here without laughing
your meal is free."
And so Dad would always teasingly try to convince all of us
not to laugh when we went to Ted and Mary's. He said if we could
stop laughing, we could eat for free for the rest of our lives.
And wouldn't that be great? Poor Dad, no matter how he tried,
there was never single free meal.
You see, the problem with laughter is that it is extremely contagious.
Even more contagious than the dreaded Kuddies that run rampant
in America's schools. If a single person starts laughing, soon
someone else will start, too. Doubt it? Go to a comedy club
sometime and try not to laugh. Don't even listen to the comedian.
Just look at the people around you. During the first performance
hardly anyone laughs. They just clap their hands politely, and
smile a lot. But sooner or later someone busts out with an uncontrolled
chuckle. Soon the people around them have caught the disease
and are laughing too. And the laughter continues to spread,
until the whole room is full. That's why the last comedian always
appears funnier than the first. That is why professional comedians
always insist that the new guy goes first, and they get to go
last. They don't even have to do anything, just put on a goofy
face and everyone will fall out of their chairs busting a gut.
So now, at the end of the comedic performance, tune out the
comedian and just watch the people laughing, laugh tracks running
down their faces, and you will know why it is impossible not
to laugh when others are laughing, and why nobody ate free at
Ted and Mary's, despite the valiant attempts of many who later
fell into hysterics. The reason was simple. All they had to
do was get that first person laughing and the disease would
spread.
I remember Dad trying so hard not to laugh. He would turn blue
trying to hold it back, but he never could. And truth be known,
he was glad he couldn't. The unfortunate thing for him is that
half the reason he ended up paying for our meals was because
he looked so funny turning blue trying to hold back his own
laughter that it made the rest of us laugh. Sorry, Dad, no free
meals at Ted and Mary's, no matter what the sign says.
So how did Ted and Mary get everyone to laugh? Well, it might
have started with the sign on the outside, but it continued
on the inside. Mounted on the walls of Ted and Mary's Diner
were stuffed sea creatures. Giant fish, clam shells and the
world largest shrimp.
Ted and Mary had a magic for the simple approach to humor. They
didn't overdo it with too many stunts. Instead, they had just
a few that were really good. For instance, they had found the
world's record lobster and had it mounted. I truly mean it that
this thing was huge. It must have weighed close to twenty pounds.
They had placed this lobster on the wall with a plaque. But
instead of the world's largest lobster, it said, "The World's
Largest Shrimp."
Most Snowbirds have never seen the front half of a shrimp. They
may have eaten pealed shrimp tails in cocktail sauce, but they
have never seen an actual shrimp that was still intact. And
so it would never fail that some tourist would come in, sit
down, look up at the Giant Lobster, read the plaque and start
telling their friends to look at the size of "The World's
Largest Shrimp". This would always kill all of the locals
(there went the free meals!) because not only was the tourist
looking at the world's largest lobster, but, without realizing
it, they had fallen into Ted's trap. He had gotten them to say
something funny. Think about it... The world's largest shrimp?
That's like saying the world's tallest short person.
Ted 'N Mary would have
loved this picture of two teddy bears going fishing
Next on the list of the wall was a series of Jacks. Jacks are
a type of fish that is known for it's ability to fight. They
don't have much meat and they taste terrible, but they fight
like the dickens.
And so, as part of their plan to make people pay for their meals,
Ted and Mary had placed an assortment of them on the walls with
little plaques stating what type of Jacks they were. And, naturally,
each tourist, as they walked in, would have to look at every
fish on the wall.
The first sign simply said, "The Florida Keys Most Fightingest
Fish - The Mighty Jack". This, of course, was followed
by a dozen Jacks mounted on the wall with little plaques underneath.
And so the tourists would begin to gaze down the wall at all
the fish.
First, they would stop at a picture of a little fish, a Jack
with the yellow tail whose name made obvious sense. The fish
was called a Yellow Tail Jack. The second fish they saw had
a blue streak and was called the Blue Runner Jack. And soon
the tourists were trying to prove how smart they were by guessing
the Jack's names before they read the plaques. All they had
to do was look at the fish, and say the first thing that came
to mind and they were usually right.
Farther down the wall of Jacks was the one with the dark skin,
called a Black Jack. Next to that one was a giant Jack with
a yellow cast to it's skin. This one is naturally called an
Amber Jack. It all made sense, until... You kept going down
the wall and there was a small Jack mounted on a plaque, or
actually, mounted at the very top of the plaque with it's head
raised and tail down. Hardly anyone got this one, but once you
heard the name it made senses. This was naturally called a Jumping
Jack.
And naturally, the suspicions of the Snowbirds rose as they
moved toward the end of the line. You could see the look in
their eyes, a dawning comprehension that maybe there was something
fishy going on here with the names of the Jacks. But it never
failed, they always made it to the last fish before they could
confirm that, indeed, they had been fooled. You see, the last
fish in the line was mounted with a toy chain saw and a piece
of lumber, and was naturally called, you guessed it, a Lumber
Jack.
MARY'S FISH
One thing about Ted and Mary, they were very creative, very original
and extremely funny people. I think Ted was born with laughter
in his eyes.
I'll never forget when we came in one week and Ted had proudly
mounted his first Tarpon. It was a good one. Over three feet.
He was extremely proud. He even put a plaque under it saying
"His First Tarpon". But Mary was never one to be outdone.
A week later I came in and there was a six foot Tarpon mounted
on the wall at the other end of the Restaurant. And a plaque
under it that said, "Her First Tarpon".
Ouch, Ted! When it comes to fish, size does matter, and having
your wife put a Tarpon on the wall that was twice as big as
yours was total humiliation. And so people teased Ted and we
all laughed. And Mary just passed Dad the bill. (Makes you wonder
if the fish weren't actually a clever ploy to make money?)
BUT THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING
But that was just the beginning. What Ted and Mary were really
famous for were their pranks. Or I should say, Ted's pranks.
Mary was always the straight woman, the one who would cause
us to divert our attention from Ted's sleight of hand.
There was, for instance, the salt shaker or pepper trick. No...
It wasn't what you think. Anyone could simply loosen the lid
of the salt shaker {{Yeah teddy}}. That was too easy. Instead,
Ted had a complete setup. It always began with Ted standing
at the counter talking to a new customer, who was seated on
a bar stool (every kid's favorite, the ones that spin) on the
other side. This person (SNOWBIRD) had been brought to Ted and
Mary's by a local family member for a little food and fun. Not
to mention Ted's special treatment. It began with Ted having
a lot of trouble getting their order straight. He would take
all of our orders, and then walk down the counter stopping in
front of all of us to make sure he got our orders right. He
would read slowly and carefully and make sure he did it just
right. But if it was the new person, he would always get it
wrong. They would order cereal and he would read back eggs and
pancakes or something. And he would always seem to have little
difficulty until he finally got the order just right. They would,
of course, correct him, and finally Ted and Mary would go make
the meals.
The Snowbird, in this particular case my Aunt Betty, would laugh
after Ted left. And quietly, so that Ted could not over hear
her, ask "Is Ted a little slow?"
Ten minutes later, Ted would start bring out food. He would
always bring back one meal at a time, starting with the far
end of the counter and slowly working his way back down the
counter, one meal at a time, towards the victim (Aunt Betty).
He would carefully put each meal down and then read it back
just to make sure he got it right. He would ask each customer
if they needed a little salt or pepper, ketchup, etc... He reminds
me so much of Tim Conway in his old routines on the Carol Burnett
show. The doddering old fool who could never get anything right.
Except he always got things right until he reached his intended
victim.
By the time Aunt Betty had seen him slowly serving each customer,
taking an extra minute to make sure the order was right, for
a little small talk, and to make sure every order was done perfect,
she was sure of three things. First, that Ted was a perfectionist,
with how he tried to get every meal order just right. Second,
that Ted was a very kind man, from all the small talk. And that
she was going to starve to death before Ted served her. Watching
Ted serve each of the others was bad enough, but for him to
stand there and wait until they tasted it to make sure it was
perfect was too much. My Aunt Betty is a sweet and kind lady,
but I know that behind those kind eyes was a woman wanting to
scream... FEED ME NOW!!!!!!
Well, eventually, Ted made it all the way down to Betty. Let's
see, Ted had already served my family including Mom, Dad, my
little brother (Todd), my little sister (Ginny), and yours truly.
And then he had served Aunt Betty's family, Uncle Bill who was
known as Big Bill, Nonny, my grandmother who, as I write this
is 102 years old and still has more energy than me, my cousin
Cindy, and my other cousin Little Bill (Which explains why Uncle
Bill is called Big Bill). And so Ted had served nine people,
one at a time, before Betty. And, of course, Ted had carried
the meals from the kitchen to the far end of the counter, which
meant carrying each meal, one at a time, in front of Betty,
whose mouth was surely watering as each new meal walked past.
Betty was, of course, ravenous by now.
Well, then Ted realizes he made a mistake. He forgot Betty's
order. So he goes into the back, and brings out Aunt Betty's
grits and cereal. The only thing was, it wasn't Betty's food.
Turns out Ted had made a mistake and so he carefully carried
the food out to a local fisherman who was sitting at a table
alone reading the newspaper. Ted asked him how the fishing was,
and made small talk and then walked past Betty, once again apologizing
profusely, and finally brought down Betty's food.
Betty was slowly starving to death, but she was never the kind
of person to show it. And Ted felt terrible. He even told her
that her meal was free. He kept apologizing over and over again.
Giving her extra special attention. He asked her to taste her
food, which she gladly did. He held a salt shaker up and asked
if she needed a little salt or pepper (It was part of the routine
and he had salted and peppered the food of every customer at
the counter before coming down to feed the now starving Betty).
She tried to be a good sport and said, yes, just a little salt
please.
So Ted starts to carefully shake a little salt onto Betty's
meal. In the meantime, Mary came out of the kitchen and starts
complaining that Ted has messed up a whole bunch of orders.
Now everything is all confused. Betty feels embarrassed that
Mary is biting Ted's head off right in front of her and so her
eyes are everywhere but on Ted. Meanwhile, Ted continues to
mumble, "yes dear, sorry dear, yes dear," and to absentmindedly
salt Betty's food.
Mary finally stomps off into the kitchen, and Ted goes, "Oh
no! I did it again". And Aunt Betty, who feels she may
actually die from hunger, turns to look and her plate is covered
in salt. Her food is inedible.
Her face turns red, and she almost loses it. But then everyone
starts laughing, and she turns around and there is Mary with
a plate piled high with all of Betty's favorite foods and a
big grin on her face. The whole thing had been a gag. They had
cooked Betty two meals! The first, Ted had intentionally destroyed
before her starving eyes, while the other was just out of view.
It was too funny... Even Aunt Betty laughed between bites...
She was so relieved to be eating that all thoughts of anger
disappeared and she laughed with the rest of us.
Ted apologized profusely and gave her the meal for free, but
at the same time had guaranteed that every other person in the
restaurant was now laughing and so he had avoided giving out
a dozen or so free meals (smart man, that Ted).
And then Ted made a show of making it up to her. First, he lightly
salted her food for her. Brought her an extra large fresh squeezed
(he always told us that his pet gorilla squeezed it fresh everyday)
orange juice. And then tried to be helpful by putting ketchup
on Aunt Betty's hash browns. He used one of those little red
squeeze ketchup bottles that you sometimes see in little roadside
diners. He tried to squeeze the bottle but nothing came out.
And so just as he was turning the bottle up to look in the end,
with the tip of the bottle pointing at Betty he gave it a little
squeeze. And bright red ketchup came shooting out of the bottle
and directly at Betty's face. She actually screamed.
And we all laughed. Because it wasn't really ketchup. Inside
the plastic bottle was a piece of yarn. When Ted squeezed the
bottle, the red yarn would come shooting out and appear to be
ketchup.
When she stopped laughing, actually when every customer in the
restaurant had stopped laughing, Ted walked up with a yellow
squeeze bottle and asked if anyone would like some mustard.
LOL, there were no takers.
DISAPPEARING DISHES
One of my favorite tricks at Ted and Mary's was disappearing dishes.
Yes, that's what I said: disappearing dishes. And, wow, was
it funny! And we all had our parts to play in this little routine.
Mine was simply to not bust out laughing and ruin the trick.
It started out like this.
We would leave the seat closest to the kitchen empty. Everyone
would sit further down the counter toward the door, leaving
one or two empty spaces at the counter close to the kitchen.
All the regulars knew where to sit to enjoy the show. And hopefully,
where to sit to avoid becoming a victim (in this we all eventually
failed. Ted is the best). By the way, in most restaurants, most
people prefer the booths, but at Ted 'N Mary's, everyone wanted
to be close to the action and that meant getting up close and
personal. So seats at the counter were always considered a place
of honor and levity.
So it would start like this. The regulars would come in and
fill up the counter. They would begin by seating themselves
as close to the front door as possible (and as far from the
kitchen as possible). Eventually, a Yankee Screamer (tourists
that spend too much time at the beach tend to scream if anyone
touches their bright red skin) would come in. This first-time
visitor (soon to be known as "the victim") to Ted's
world would unwittingly walk to the far end of the counter (their
destiny in comedy heaven) and take a seat. (Let the smirks and
back-seat banter begin.)
Ted would walk down and welcome them to his (and Mary's, she
always made a point of reminding him that it was "their")
diner. He would chat them up while their eyes would travel the
walls (fish and shrimp) and basically set them up for comedic
victimization. (Don't worry, it only hurts for a minute).
Ted's job was simple. He was the distraction. So he would make
a big show of talking to them and the other guests. He would
tell outrageous fishing stories (such as the time he and Mary
were towed out to sea by some rather large sea creature that
refused to get in the boat) and of course their eyes would bug
out in disbelief. And of course, that was our cue to back Ted
up. Some saying the same thing had happened to a friend of theirs
a few years back, etc...
Ted would eventually take their order, almost as an afterthought.
At this point, Mary would be bringing the orders and doing all
the real work and Ted was doing the talking (chatting them up).
Ted became the center of attention, and Mary became almost invisible.
This was an important part of the trick.
So Ted would be talking and Mary would bring the food.
I remember one time in particular. Two little old ladies (hey!
I was ten. To me a woman of forty was a little old lady back
then. Now they are known as babes, LOL) came in and sat down.
Ted chatted them up. The Yankee Screamers were of course in
full color (bright red), and, because Ted was always on the
verge of patting them on the shoulder, he had their full attention.
They almost fell out of their chairs laughing at Ted's stories.
Especially his antics of mock fright as he recanted for the
millionth time of how, as that big fish was towing him out to
sea, he had somehow convinced himself that they had actually
hooked their fishing lines onto a French submarine. And how
he had hoped to have it stuffed and mounted to place on the
wall because he was sure the captain's name was Jacques (French
Jack) Costeau (Ummm. Like you can expect a ten year-old to spell
this guy's name?)
Believe me, Ted had their full attention, as Mary now played
her role. Sliding their food down the counter, first the lady
closer to the door and then the one next to the kitchen (the
intended victim). Each time the ladies would turn to look at
their food, Ted would pull some antic and make them laugh. Eventually,
they had nearly forgotten their food was there and were concentrating
on Ted. They would reach down and take a bite, and then forget
the food for a few minutes (just like it was planned).
Now it was really hard not to laugh. Because, while the ladies
were looking to the left (towards Ted), they were looking away
from their right (Mary with her fishing pole). Ted would distract
the ladies while Mary went fishing (there was fishing line attached
to the bottom of the victims plate and the fishing line was
the same color as the counter, very thin and hard to see, especially
if you were looking at Ted).
So, Ted would talk, Mary would reel in a little line, the plates
would begin to move, and we would try our best not to fall out
of our chairs laughing.
The plates would slowly (that was the best part, she would only
reel in a little tine bit at a time) move across the counter
toward the kitchen as Mary pretended to real in a monster fish
that was putting up a heck of a fight. And on this particular
occasion, thought she would get nailed. One of the ladies actually
reached down for a piece of bacon (without taking her eyes off
Ted) and missed. But she was so distracted she simply felt around
and found the plate (two inches to the right of where it had
been a minute ago), slid it back and ate a sausage without even
realizing anything was wrong. Her eyes had never left Ted. (Dad
almost fell out of his chair laughing, although he pretended
it was a coughing attack (He had to face away from the ladies
for a minute or his face was gonna explode with giggles).
By now Mary was in full swing. She is doing all kinds of pantomimes
at the other end of the counter. Imitating Ted, the ladies and
also my father and his "coughing attack". We are all
now on the verge of exploding. Slowly she reels in her fish.
The plate slowly (the game was to see how slowly they could
reel in the plate without getting caught) crawling down the
counter and into the Mary's hands (the boat). The hardest thing
I ever did in my life was not to laugh as that plate crawled
it's way down the counter toward Mary in her rain coat (Did
I mention the rain coat? It was part of the act, too).
Eventually, Mary would pull her catch in and head off to the
kitchen. The ladies are sitting there talking to Ted and don't
even realize that one of their food is missing.
Finally, the victim reached down for another piece of bacon,
and it was hilarious. Her eyes never left Ted's face, but her
hand started searching in bigger and bigger circles. And the
giggles began (quietly at first). The funniest thing I have
seen in my life is when that lady's hand started going back
and forth on that counter searching for the food. Finally, she
looks down and everything is gone. Her breakfast has disappeared.
And, of course, Ted is standing there with a straight face,
saying nothing and playing innocent.
The lady is at a mental loss. Exactly how do you say, in a room
full of strangers "Ummmmm.. Has anyone seen my breakfast?"
(LOL). Finally she says "It's gone". Ted says, "What's
gone, miss?" Oh, he was good. She hesitates and says, "My
breakfast is gone". And Ted says, "Are you sure?".
She acts like she feels she is losing her mind and says, "My
breakfast was here and now it's gone".
Ted, "Are you sure it was there?"
Lady, "I think so."
Ted, "Where did it go?"
Lady, "Ummm.. I don't know."
Ted now begins a search for her breakfast (as the rest of us
are on the verge of a thermonuclear giggle attack). First, he
looks up and down the counter and scratches his head. Then,
he looks up at the serving counter behind him (looks back at
the lady like he is having his doubts about her sanity). Looks
at the floor, hesitates, then goes, "Nope that's not it."
Stevie Weevie fell out of his chair at this point (Ted just
looks over and says something about I should be careful what
I put in my orange juice. Hey! I was ten...). He calls back
to Mary and asks if she has seen this lady's breakfast (laughter
begins to explode as Mary comes out. The lady explains her breakfast
has disappeared and now Ted and Mary are looking all over the
diner for her breakfast). Ted and Mary finally scored the big
hit (all the customers laughing and having to pay for their
otherwise free meals as Ted and Mary walked up to every customer
in the diner and asked with mock seriousness if they had seen
the nice lady's breakfast?
Somewhere in all the laughter, this lady, like all the Yankee
Screamers before her, realized that her leg had been pulled
but good. And found herself turning red and screaming with laughter.
And she nearly fell out of her chair when Mary went into the
kitchen and returned with her fishing pole and the nice lady's
plate.
The lady got a good laugh and a free meal. The rest of us got
a good laugh, and a bill for breakfast.
Ted and Mary, making money, one chuckle at a time...
THE RADIO
Probably the funniest stunt Ted ever pulled was the radio. I
mean the stuff with salt shakers, disappearing ink, exploding
ketchup bottles, and all the great stuff on the walls was really
good, but it was the radio that made me laugh the hardest.
It was a week after the ketchup bottle incident and Aunt Betty
had insisted on going back to Ted and Mary's restaurant before
she and her family returned up north, to Tampa. She wanted one
more special memory to take with her, and she knew that Ted
was just the man to give it to her. Let's face it folks, Ted
was the best any of us had ever seen. Well, except for Mary,
who was the world's best straight woman.
Anyone can pull a funny stunt now and then. But to be able to
do it to the same people over and over again, and to always
catch them off guard, takes the skills of a great actor. Someone
who is completely and totally at home in the arts of both humor
and deception. What made Ted so funny is that he always caught
you when you least expected it. I think that was perhaps because
Mary always knew exactly when to divert your attention away
from what Ted was about to do to you. They made a great team.
And today was to be no different. We climbed out of the family
van and Dad gave strict orders, no one was to laugh. He gave
us a speech on how times were tough and how we needed to tighten
our belts. And the best way to do that would be to eat for free.
And so, as we walked up to the sign, Little Bill and Cindy started
laughing before we even got the door open. And the rest of us
soon followed.
We entered the diner. Everyone was on guard. We knew that Ted
was on duty and he was out to get us. The trick was to let him
get someone else. It was a matter of pride, to be the one person
that Ted didn't get. And I know that I was just as bound and
determined to outwit Ted as any member of my family. Today,
I was going to outwit Ted.
Today Ted was telling jokes and having a good time. We all had
a good laugh as he walked up first with the ketchup bottle (we
were all too smart for that) and then the mustard bottle. We
all decided to salt our own food. And we watched everything
that Ted did, very carefully. We never took our eyes off Ted.
But today, it seemed that Ted had other fish to fry (sorry,
a little seafood humor). First he began talking about how he
and Mary had gone fishing the day before and how finally he
had caught a fish that was bigger than hers (we heard Mary laughing
in the kitchen at this), and now he had bragging rights (two
days later Mary out did him again). Next, he talked about how
there was no way he was gonna outsmart any of us, because we
knew all of his tricks. So we watched as he pulled stunts on
one tourist after another. And we felt like smug insiders that
were too smart to be fooled.
And that's when Mary came out and asked Ted to fix her little
portable radio. It was a simple black box (these were the old
days) that fit in your pocket and had a single wire going up
to a little ear piece which, naturally, you put in your ear.
None of us had ever seen one of these, as they were something
brand new back in those days.
So, after Ted adjusted the little radio, Betty asked if she
could try it. Ted tested the radio himself, decided it was OK
now and handed it to Betty. He showed her how to put the little
ear piece in her ear, and then told her all she had to do was
squeeze the "on" button on the side of the little
black box. So Betty inserted the ear piece and squeezed the
button on the black box. Then she screamed and dropped the radio.
Ted picked up the radio, and looked into the ear piece, adjusted
the volume control and apologized. In the meantime, Gramma Nonny
asked if she could see the radio. She gingerly placed the little
speaker in her ear and pushed the button on the Black Box. She
screamed and dropped the radio, too.
Thinking quickly, I quickly deduced what was happening (remember,
I was out to prove how much smarter than everyone else I was).
I grabbed the radio, turned the volume control all the way down.
I knew, I absolutely knew, that the radio was going to blast
loud music the second I pushed the button. That this was the
gag. But I was too smart for that. Way to smart. Who does Ted
think he's dealing with? So instead of inserting the earpiece
into my ear, I held it next to my head so I would not get a
loud noise in my ear. Then, just as smug as you please, I squeezed
the button on the radio, dropped the radio and screamed.
I guess Ted was smarter than me after all. The radio didn't
make a loud noise. That was a deception. The real trick was
when you pushed the button that the black box gave your hand
an electrical shock. Ted was pedaling the world's most high
tech joy buzzer and, to my shame, I had fallen for it!
With egg on my face (real egg, I ate like a slob), I finally
turned to Ted and informed him rather humbly that he was the
funniest man I had ever met...
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